And the prize for the BAH HUMBUG blog entry in Christmas Week goes to The PhD PIMPERNEL *applause*
I am probably not the first woman,nor will I be the last, to feel that the pressure on the female of the species at this supposedly ‘Festive’ time of year is just incomparable.
I feel as though my head is going to explode and work is just not happening due to the constant demands for other things to get done.
I’d like to share with you an adaptation of the poem ‘IF” by Rudyard Kipling adapted by a fellow Blipper and friend, which for me sums up ( a little too kindly) the current situation for many women.
If You can Keep Your Head when all At Work and all around You
Are Screaming down the phone, and Shouting At You,
If You can trust yourself, to Run past Boots,
Without Buying up half the No 17 counter,
But Still remember to Buy Essentials.
If You can wait, On the 13 Minutes Past,
Even when it comes at 42 minutes Past,
And Not Be Fed up to the Back Teeth,
If They Lie to You, Don’t Accept their Guarantees,
You are better than that.
If You Can Dream, and Live Happily in them.
If You can Think, and Be Pleasantly Surprised,
If you can meet with Dolce & Gabba, and DKYN
And Know Fakes from Genuine and still be
Quite happy to buy the Cheapest Version.
If you can hear what you’ve said to someone
Spoken back and it sounds like utter drivel;
But see you Children fall and be hurt,
STOP and put them back together with your heart.
If you can take everything you have,
And Risk it on the Last Minutes Sales, 48 Hours before Christmas Day
And Find they aren’t Starting til Boxing day.
And Not Cry with Frustration, knowing the Prices will
Be So much better on 28th.
If you can Force a Smile, and Grit Your Teeth
And be nice to Everyone who Says “I’ve done all mine?”.
Go forth and buy everything required at Exorbitant Prices
Even tho your will says ?”Hold On”.
If you can walk down the High Street, and not Loose your head
Or walk through Malmasion, with your pants tucked in your skirt,
If No Evil Shop Assistant, or Vicious Conductor can hurt you,
If your daughter can count on you, to get exactly what she needs,
If you can fill the unforgiving Advent
With 12 Days of Bloody Shopping,
Yours will be Christmas and Everything it brings,
And, which is more, You will be A Mother, You will!
I find this time if year an incredible strain as despite the fact I am meant to be working FULL-TIME on a Ph.D come Christmas I am suddenly expected to make the holiday perfect for everyone else – if I delegate the job simply doesn’t get done the way it should be done, because it seems no one else is really that bothered; well until it isn’t done and then they wonder why!
My tree still isn’t up! My house is still not ready and I am taking a leaf out of the Man’s Handbook to Christmas – and I’m not bothering!
After a long rant to my mother (yes my MOTHER) she enquired if I was ‘on the change’ …
Christmas is most certainly a feminist issue!